


Thinking of You

by sparkinside (boomersoonerash)



Series: 52 Weeks of Stories [52]
Category: Hanson (Band), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Zombie Apocalypse, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Engagement, Explicit Language, F/M, First Time, Flashbacks, Georgia, Heartbreak, Implied Sexual Content, Loss of Virginity, Love Confessions, Marijuana, Older Man/Younger Woman, Post-Break Up, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 20:47:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10048646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boomersoonerash/pseuds/sparkinside
Summary: "I've never done this before."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure I really like how this ended but it is what it is and maybe one day I will redo this.

Looking down at her engagement ring Avery sighed softly as she sat with her mom at the bakery where they would be doing cake testing soon. A fact that well it depressed her because the longer this engagement went on the more she realized that maybe she didn't want this.

Didn't want to be engaged to the man she was engaged too. Would have much rather been engaged to someone else but of course Avery knew that she couldn't be with him. Not publicly anyway because her family would never approve, never be okay with her dating the man she truly loved.

Knew deep down if he had been the one who had asked for her hand in marriage her parents would have turned him down. No matter how much she truly loved him just because he didn't and never would meet the standards they had for their daughters.

Standards that they didn't extend to her brother's which Avery found fucked up but it was the way it was. Would always be that way which is why she felt sorry for Zoe but then again Zoe was easily swayed more so than Avery was and would probably be okay with being forced to be with someone she didn't truly love.

Could probably convince herself she wanted it but it was harder for Avery because she knew that sweet taste of having some freedom for awhile. Knew what it was like to fall in love and choose for herself and maybe she regretted coming back home to Oklahoma after living for three years in Georgia but here she was and she couldn't take back her choices.

Had fallen into her mom's trap and willingly went with what she wanted just to keep the peace. Just to make her happy while denying what she truly wanted...who she truly wanted.

***

_"I've never done this before," Avery sighed as she sat on the porch of a cabin in the woods of Georgia. A place where her boyfriend of seven months had taken her for a weekend getaway._

_A place where they could be away from the world as well as his older brother who at times could be slightly annoying and a tad overbearing._

_More so than Avery's mom but Avery guessed maybe she didn't blame Merle for being overbearing. After all he and Daryl had, had a shitty childhood and so maybe they needed to rely on each other and give each other guidance a lot but sometimes Merle could give too much not knowing the sway he had on his baby brother. A sway that Avery at times wasn't sure she'd ever be able to break._

_Maybe didn't want to break altogether but she did want Merle to stop getting Daryl in trouble with the law. Didn't want to date someone who was always going to jail every so many months._

_"Never sat outside and looked at the stars?" Daryl asked with a tiny amused smirk before leaning in to kiss her cheek softly. "Because I find that really hard to believe that you've never done that."_

_Rolling her eyes playfully Avery shook her head, "Never been in love before," she admitted her voice wavering slightly because maybe seven months was too soon to say she was in love with Daryl. Even if it was true and god was it._

_Avery was head over heels in love with Daryl. The kind of love where she could see a future with him and while she knew it should scare her it didn't._

_In fact she was content over the possibility of having a future with Daryl. Maybe getting married and raising a small family with him....or just living together for the rest of their lives and having babies. Just being happy, something Avery wasn't sure Daryl had, had before._

_Not with a mom who died when he was young and a dad who drank and abused him. Had left scars on his back that would forever be the reminder of the hell he had went through._

_Pulling away after her confession of love, Daryl turned away from her looking down at the stairs below them. "You don't mean it," he argued his voice sounding so small and like he truly didn't believe that Avery loved him. "You don't love me. You're twenty-three and naive. Been sheltered your whole life and don't even know what love is," he sighed as he shook his head before finally looking at her and the sad look in his eye was enough to break Avery's heart._

_"No one can love me because I'm damaged and once you realize it you'll leave me and find yourself a good ole boy to settle down with," he whispered before breaking eye contact with her. "Someone who can probably readily have sex with you too..isn't too damn ashamed of how they look naked to make love to you."_

_Frowning Avery blinked several times to fight off tears, "I know you have issues Daryl and I love you....don't tell me I don't mean it because I do. I love you and I love how you treat me and make me feel so safe and loved and I don't even care that we haven't had sex yet. I still love you," she spoke sounding firm now because she didn't want Daryl to doubt her._

_Though she knew he would. Of course he would because that's just who Daryl was as a person. Never accepting that someone could truly love him even when they did._

_Daryl fell silent after she had spoken again and this time it was Avery who sighed as she shook her head. "I love you and I'm never going to regret saying it regardless of how you reacted to it," she frowned before standing up from the stairs and heading inside._

_Not surprised in the least when Daryl stayed outside, soon pulling out a cigarette after she left. Because Avery knew he'd need time alone. Need time to come to terms with the fact that maybe she did truly love him even if he was convinced otherwise._

***

"You all there Avery?" Diana asked and Avery blushed as she came out of her thoughts. Giving her mom an apologetic smile.

"Yeah sorry just got all lost in my head," Avery smiled though it was forced and she really hoped her mom didn't notice how forced it was. "Just I've never done this before and I guess I'm nervous," she said at least being honest now.

Though before her mom could reply the person who would be making her cake came out from the back and Avery paused feeling almost sick when she saw Carol Peletier standing in front of her because Carol was a blast from a past she couldn't quiet forget.

No matter how hard she had tried forgetting it.

Though luckily for Avery, Carol didn't let on that she knew Avery. Instead she smiled as she headed to where Avery and Diana were seated.

"So what sample flavor do you lovely ladies want to start off with today?" she asked her voice so sickly sweet sounding. "My personal favorite is the mint chocolate chip."

Diana scrunched up her nose as she turned to give Avery a look. "Mint chocolate chip for a wedding cake?" she inquired sounding almost disgusted as she looked back at Carol.

***

_"If we get married one day hypothetically can we have mint chocolate chip for our wedding cake flavor?" Daryl mused as he sat on the couch with Avery after taking the joint from her hand. A joint that they were sharing back and forth between themselves._

_"Mint chocolate chip as a wedding cake?" Carol, Daryl's roommate asked and Avery couldn't help but laugh at how perplexed Carol sounded._

_Which of course she was because she was a baker. Had gotten into baking as a hobby after her husband Ed and daughter Sophia had died in a car crash. Said she had used it as an escape and well she was good at it so maybe it was a good outlet for her to escape into._

_Better than what Daryl did which was just close people out._

_"What?" Daryl asked as he looked over at Carol with a raised eyebrow. "I like mint chocolate chip and I don't think it would be too bad as a wedding cake flavor...I mean if Avery wants it," he smiled as he leaned in and kissed the side of her lips before handing the joint back to her._

_Taking the joint, Avery took a hit off of it. Exhaling the smoke slowly before handing it back to Daryl. "I didn't even know we were near thinking about marriage yet," she shrugged knowing they had only been dating for nine months now and well Daryl still wasn't convinced she had meant it when she told him she loved him two months ago._

_How could he be thinking of marriage when he didn't think she truly loved him? Doubted her even when he had nothing to make him doubt her because she had never hurt him. Never done anything to even lie to him either._

_"We aren't but I'm just being hypothetical here woman," Daryl smiled before taking a hit from the joint. "If we get married can we have mint chocolate chip as our wedding cake."_

_Laughing again Avery leaned in to leave a kiss on Daryl's lips. "We can have whatever cake you want if you ever let me make you an honest man," she muttered out after pulling away from the kiss though she stayed close to him. "Any cake and any theme too."_

_Carol groaned loudly from where she sat opposite them. "You two are sickeningly sweet," she said though she was only teasing. "Think I am going to have to leave and go visit Tobin. Give you two some time alone to get all the sweetness out of you."_

_Avery blushed as she moved away from Daryl. Stealing the joint from his hands and a part of her wished leaving the two of them alone would work but Avery doubted that Daryl would even try to have sex with her because he was still so insecure in how she'd react to seeing him fully naked._

_Even though she had seen him shirtless dozens of times. Though Avery guessed naked was different because letting someone see you naked was being vulnerable in so many ways. Ways in which Daryl wasn't comfortable with._

_Ways he never might be comfortable with but Avery loved him despite it all. Always would no matter what._

***

"There's nothing wrong with mint chocolate chip as a wedding cake flavor," Avery told her mom as she again forced a smile. "In fact I'd like to start with that one," she nodded her head as she locked eyes with Carol.

Carol only smiled before cutting off two pieces of that cake and setting one piece on Avery's plate and another on Diana's.

Reaching for her fork after that, Avery soon took a bite and this time the smile she had wasn't forced at all. Instead it was natural and real and reminded her of home...her true home. Not a physical home with walls and a door but a person with blue eyes and brown hair.

"Well?" Carol asked almost expectantly as she looked from Avery and Diana.

"It's not really my favorite," Diana said before Avery could voice anything. "Is there any other flavor you'd recommend."

Biting her lip as her mom spoke, Avery's smile fell and just like that she was reminded of the fact that no matter what her mom would probably always get her way. That she'd never like anything that Avery did.

***

_"Did you mean it?" Avery asked as she turned to face Daryl after changing into her pajamas that night. "With your hypothetical wedding question? Would you hypothetically marry me?"_

_Daryl sighed as he sat down on the edge of his bed, looking up at Avery almost wistfully. "I want to marry you one day," he told her and the honesty in his voice made Avery's heartbeat slow down slightly. "I'd marry you today if I could."_

_"But you don't believe I love you," Avery reminded him as she looked away from him, chewing on her bottom lip. "How can you marry someone when you don't believe they love you?"_

_"I do believe it okay," Daryl huffed out almost in one breath and Avery lifted her head to look at him. A smile now playing on her lips. "I believe it and maybe I love you too," he whispered out softly._

_Soft enough that Avery had to strain to hear him._

_"You what?" Avery asked him teasingly as her smile grew at his confession of loving her. "Did you just say you love me Daryl Dixon?"_

_Daryl blushed as he stood from the bed, his arms automatically going around Avery's waist. "I love you Avery Laurel Hanson," he whispered as his lips went to her ear where he left a light kiss and Avery let her eyes fall shut as she moved into his embrace._

_Her eyes staying shut as his lips worked their way down to her own and as they kissed Avery couldn't help but feel content and at home. A feeling which did scare her because she knew she shouldn't make people her home but god damn it Daryl was her home and he'd always be her home._

_Of that she was sure because how could anyone replace the man who she was sure was the love of her life. The soul mate she had always heard was out there and waiting on her._

_Kissing him back a bit harder Avery heard Daryl let out a small moan and Avery shivered some as she felt one of his hands going up and under her shirt. An action that surprised her slightly but one she wasn't complaining over because she loved his touched._

_Craved it even, more often than she'd like to admit out loud to anyone even herself._

_Pulling away as his hand traveled higher under her shirt, resting on her breast Avery only looked into Daryl's eyes as she blushed now. Feeling nervous for what she was about to ask him as well as afraid of what he'd say in response._

_"Can we....can we make love?" Avery questioned her voice hitching slightly from her nervousness. "I know you don't want me to see you naked but I want you Daryl," she told him her voice getting all low and maybe a bit seductive. "I need you."_

_After her question was out Avery took a deep breath feeling like the air in the room had changed some but not much. Though now it felt like there was an electric current somewhere. One that she couldn't tell if it was bad or good._

_"I've never done this before," Daryl admitted softly as he blushed more. "Just don't laugh if I suck."_

_Laughing at his words Avery nodded her head, "Scout's honor...I won't laugh," she promised before leaning in to kiss him again and this time as they kissed Avery fell back against the bed. Pulling Daryl down over her slowly and she hoped she could show him by making love to him just how much she loved him and that she didn't care if he had never done this before._

_All that mattered was that he was letting her in too new places she had never been before with him. That he was lettings his walls crumble tonight with his confession of loving her and now this. Agreeing to have sex with her for the first time._

_Not just their first time as a couple but his first time period._

_Pulling away from the kiss again as his hand went higher under her shirt Avery quickly helped him take it off of her and after it was off she reached up and undid the button down shirt he had on._

_Pushing it off of him once it was undone and after it was off it wasn't lost to Avery that Daryl was blushing. Regardless of the fact that she had seen him shirtless before._

_"It's fine Daryl," Avery spoke to him as she slowly let her hand go down his chest. A slight shiver coming from Daryl as her hand went through the little bit of hair he had on his chest._

_Something she was thankful for because she wasn't sure she wanted a man as hairy as her brother Taylor was. Just wasn't into that._

_Daryl nodded his head as he locked eyes with Avery. Almost as if he was trying to tell himself that it would be okay and that things were fine._

_Which Avery hoped he believed because they were true._

_"I love you," Avery stated before pulling him down into another kiss and this time as they kissed they lost the rest of their clothing and once Daryl was fully naked Avery pulled away. Her eyes scanning him over and again he was blushing._

_Probably afraid that she was criticizing his looks in her head when she was doing no such thing. Never would do that because she wasn't that type of person and never would be._

_"You're beautiful," Avery whispered softly as she gave him a smile. "So fucking beautiful."_

_Daryl scrunched up his nose at that, pulling a face like he didn't believe her. Though he didn't argue with her. Instead he kissed her again._

_This kiss being much softer than before as he positioned himself at her entrance and when he slid inside of her finally both of them moaned out into the kiss._

_A part of Avery glad that this was finally happening after nine months and another part of her hoping it didn't take another nine months to happen again._

_That Daryl felt comfortable enough that this could become a thing they did often to show how much they loved each other and also just to connect and be as close as two people could possibly be._

***

After the cake tasting was done and both Avery and her mom. More so her mom had came to an agreement on a cake flavor. Some chocolate strawberry flavor Avery let her mom leave first and she stayed behind biting her lip as she looked at Carol who was still standing around the front.

"When did you move to Oklahoma?" Avery asked with a quirked eyebrow.

Carol shrugged her shoulders as she gave Avery a sad smile, "A few months ago. Tobin got a job offer at some construction place here in Oklahoma City and I followed him because of course I would. I love him and he's the first person I've loved since Ed and Sophia."

Avery nodded her head as she smiled a real smile again. "And Daryl just let you leave?" she asked casually name dropping her ex like it didn't hurt to say his name though it did. Probably shouldn't after a few years apart but it did.

"Haven't seen him since the day he up and left with Merle actually," Carol revealed and Avery's smile faltered some because she had hoped that maybe Daryl would have came back. At least to Carol. "Got pretty lonesome in that old apartment without him so I think that's another reason I came here."

"So Merle not only stole him from me but he stole him from you too," Avery sighed feeling almost frustrated at the thought. 

Carol's expression turned a bit sour, "I guess you can say that," she nodded agreeing almost hesitantly with Avery. "I mean can Merle really steal someone who left willingly?" she asked as she kept eye contact with Avery. "And let's be honest he left willingly. It was Merle he left with. It was always willingly with him."

Falling silent Avery looked down at her hands, her eyes landing on her engagement ring because in the end she knew Carol was right.

Knew Daryl had left Georgia with Merle willingly and she had known it the night Daryl had came to her three months after their one year anniversary of dating and confessed that Merle had to get out of Georgia. That he had committed a crime and he needed to run.

Avery had pleaded with him not to leave and she had known when he fell silent during her pleas that he was going to go. But maybe she had convinced herself during their lovemaking after that he'd stay and when she woke with him gone and a letter on her pillow she had convinced herself that he'd come back.

Convinced herself long enough that she stayed for two more years in Georgia or well almost two years. But then she had finally moved back to Oklahoma to finish her schooling and now she had been back for a year and so many months.

"When did you get engaged?" Carol asked her as she looked down at Avery's engagement ring.

"February," Avery answered with another forced smile. "So five months now....the wedding is in October."

Carol only nodded her head as she reached out and put her hand on top of Avery's. "Are you happy?" she asked as if she gauging Avery's reaction. "I mean truly happy?"

"No," Avery answered honestly as she shook her head. "But I have to be don't I?" she asked before moving her hand and standing up. "The person who truly made me happy left me when his brother asked him too," she said with a shake of her head before turning and leaving Carol's bakery.

Her hand going up to wipe away a few tears that went down her cheek because of course she was crying. Mentioning and thinking of Daryl today. It had made her sad and she just wished he'd come back to her even if she knew he probably never would. He'd never come back and in a few more months she'd be married to someone who wasn't him.

Someone she didn't see a future with at all. Not like she had seen with Daryl anyway.


End file.
